Boys to Men
Inside every man is a little boy! That boy is mischievous, adventurous and very, very silly! Roger Davies, Sheffield Congregational Pastor at Hope City Church, believes that despite of all of this - it's time for men to grow up!
I have a younger brother. When we were teenagers we were experts at
trading insults with each other. The one he taunted me with
thatconsistently got under my skin was "why don't you just grow up!".
It always seemed to touch a raw nerve. How dare this young upstart of a
brother (who was clearly less mature, less knowledgeable and less
experienced in life than me) loftily tell me to stop being a child. But
the truth of the matter is that we all need encouragement at times to
grow up and put childish ways behind us.
Growing up is not about reaching a certain age where you are entitled
to certain privileges like voting, or legally allowed to do things,
like smoking. Nor is it about getting taller, stronger or 6packed up!
It's all about the way we think, reason and subsequently act. I had
left University and was teaching full time at a secondary school in
Sussex, and yet I would still arrive at church on a Sunday morning with
two minutes to spare before it started, dressed in hideous purple
jogging bottoms and a sweatshirt. Why? Because I still saw myself as an
18 or 19 year old student instead of who I really was. To grow up I had
to think about myself differently.
God is looking for men to perceive themselves correctly: not as
children but heirs; not as beggars but princes; not as slaves but
warriors; and not as drifters but worshippers of the King of Kings. We
need to think God's thoughts about ourselves until we are fully mature
and totally developed within and without:
"No prolonged infancies among us please. We'll not tolerate babes in
the woods, small children who are an easy mark for imposters. God wants
us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love - like
Christ in everything." (Ehpesians 4: 14-15)
The amazing thing about growing up is that it leads to far greater
opportunity and privilege. Now that my daughter is nearly 4 and
increasingly sure footed, I let her climb up the near verticle ladders
that lead to our attic for the first time this week. She had never seen
the loft before and was amazed at how spacious (and messy) it was. Yet
her increasing maturity had taken her quite literally to a brand new
level!
Men, it is time to leave behind pre-school finger painting so that we
can get on with God's grand work of art. It is time to leave behind the
junior school sack race so that we can compete in the Olympic Games. It
is time to leave behind spoon-fed meals and learn knife and fork table
manners so that God can take us out for dinner at The Ritz.
1. Define Yourself
The first key to growing up is to define what makes you the person
you are. God has created you an original - you are unique. He wants you
to inhabit your own soul and take responsibility for the things that
make up you. Define who you are and set boundaries to mark out your
territory. When I was a child we had to move within the UK a couple of
times because of my Dad's work. On both occassions I had to start all
over again at making friends, a task made harder because each time I
had a different accent to the one all the other children had. I wanted
to be liked, to fit in and not be rejected. As a result of this I
became chameleon-like, fitting in with the people I was with, and
fearing to express my own opinions, feelings, likes and dislikes. I
have had to break free from this because I was allowing other people,
and their preferences to define me. I had to learn to risk offending
people with my opinions, thoughts and feelings so that I could be me
and not an amalgamation of a million other identities.
A couple of summers ago I wanted to have a bonfire in the back garden
to get rid of a load of hedge trimmings. I waited until the evening to
get going, and decided that I had better check with the neighbours
before I got pyrotechnical. One of my neighbours was well up for it -
he loved the smell of bonfires and wished more people in the street had
them. But my other neighbour was disgusted at the idea. I was really
surprised at his attitude after the glowing endorsement I had recieved
from the other guy. In the end I moved my position from asking for his
permission to giving him a warning of what was coming. How liberating!
I had offended someone instead of conforming to their wishes.
I am not advocating insensitivity to others, but we need a confidence
to know what we are about. God has given us a brand new identity in
Christ and we need to assert it boldy, even at the risk of rejection
and offence.
2. Own Yourself
The second key to growing up is to take ownership for yourself. Own
your feelings instead of ignoring them or elevating them so that they
are in charge. Face up to them and see them as sign posts to issues God
may well want to deal with. Own your attitudes. Don't blame the
weather, the kids, your football team's defeat or the amount of money
in the bank. Take responsibility for the way you do life. Finally, own
your choices:
"By faith, Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son
of Pharoah's daughter. He chose to be ill-treated along with the people
of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time. He
regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the
treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward."
(Hebrews 11:24-26)
Moses grew up by making choices in view of eternity instead of his here
and now. Every day we make choices that are like seeds sown into the
soil of our lives that will one day produce a harvest. We have to
choose what kind of harvest we want in the future because that will
determine the type of seed seed we have to sow today (Galatians 6:
7-8). We determine our futures. What if Moses had prefered being
pampered in Egypt?
General "Stonewall" Jackson was a famous military leader in the
American Civil War. He was an inspiration to his men because he always
remained so calm in battle, unflustered even when bullets were wizzing
past his head. His secret lay in his perspective on life. He told his
men that God had already decided the number of days he would live on
the earth. He did not consider it his responsibility to try and live
any longer than the time allocated to him by his Maker but instead to
live each day in the knowledge that one day he would meet God face to
face. He believed such a view on life would make the rawest recruit
into the bravest and most fearless fighter in his army.
How about you?
Do you make decisions about the way you live based on where you are at
today or where you want to be tomorrow? Own your choices and sow for an
awesome harvest!
God wants us to have a spititual growth spurt. He wants us more mature
like His Son so that we can play a bigger part in His eternal purposes.
But to do that we have to define who we are and take ownership and
responsibility for our lives. This become easier when we get intimate
with God. My daughters are not growing up because they have 5 or 10
year plans and objectives. They are growing up because they spend time
with my wife and I. It's the same with God. so why not take some advice
from King David:
"As for me I am getting as close to God as I can" (Psalm 73:28)
.